A gentleman’s guide to coffee and alcohol

By: Harrison Giza

With alcohol maintaining popular flavor and coffee’s instant hook-punch, the ol’ Blue Harvest Bartender has got a drink that’ll blow your head clean off.

Let’s get busy.

The Smith & Wesson

  • 1 ounce vodka (preferably Goose or V1)
  • 1 ounce coffee liqueur (Kahlua and Tia Maria are acceptable)
  • 2 ounces of that sweet, sweet half and half
  • 1 ounce soda of choice (Coke is the classic)

Throw it in a glass, use ice, and start drinking.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Why would I ever want to make this when I could have a White Russian? With Lebowski culture blossoming is college communities, the Smith & Wesson is so passe. A good bartender doesn’t encounter trouble here – he embraces it like Gosling.

You don’t want to look bad and neither do we. That’s why you’ve got to know both the brother and cousin of the alcohol/caffeine game.

The White Russian

The ice cream of alcoholic beverages, the White Russian is a little scorcher to start your Sunday morning. Icy, sweet, and with smells of victory, this what Starbucks needs to serve.

  • 1 and 1/2 ounce of vodka (Van Gogh or Absolut are advised)
  • 3/4 ounce Kahlua (ALWAYS KAHLUA, DON’T BE A FOOL)
  • 3/4 ounce of cream

Pour everything in a highball and make sure to stir it up like Bob Marley. A proper White Russian should have a faded white rust of brown trickling down the bushes of cold cream swirls. If you don’t see a rust of brown trickling down the bushes, keep shaking until you’ve given up trying.

Be your own Dunkin Donuts.






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